Ah...friendship, ain't it grand.

Okay...

Pop Quiz Time!
Subject: friends and friendship.
1. If you've been "friends" for at least 5 years (or more) and you have an issue with a "friend", should you
A.-"Ignore" the issue while slowly letting it bubble up inside of you, only to later explode?
B.-Talk to other people and tell them what a bad person your "Friend" is?
C. -Seperate yourself until you leave the country, don't tell your former '"friends" until after you're gone or the day you're leaving and then make new associates but never allow anyone else to get close so close again...?
or
D.-Calm down, figure out whats bothering you and why and then talk to your "friend" in a calm and mature manner.

Yep, I'm leaning towards "C" myself...

I'm very different. Anyone who knows me would certainly agree. I am NOT your typical black girl (but thats probably bc I'm not black...I'm brown).

With all of my friendships there are only four that have caused me significant pain and heartache, and they were all from one particular culture or ethnic group. Yeah, I have had others that have made me sad and/or hurt me in some way (usually relating to my degree of blackness or my "religiousness") but not like these. In Christianity it sometimes seems like its wrong for us to say when something is done that pierces our souls to the point that it makes us want to scream out in agony.

Truthfully, I feel so dumb for being angry or hurt. I've always been taught to just get over it and let it go or to go to that person and let them know and if they don't change then to just forgive them. In all honesty, its a crackpot excuse for how to deal with something that you don't otherwise know how to handle.

I am not perfect, by no means do I even act to assume that I have been the perfect "friend" who has never said or done something she wished she hadn't; but I have ALWAYS been the friend to bite my tongue when I didn't have to, swallow my pride and offer my help even after being talked about, and get up at 2 or 3 in the morning just to help a friend who was sick or needed someone to talk to when they're world was going to hell.

I hate that I have given up so much of my time, my money, and mostly myself to people who don't seem to care too much about how I feel. We have a lot of history and I don't just want to end the relationships. I'm trying to look on the bright side of the situations, however, I'm just not seeing it yet.

If you have any advice, by all means, let me know.